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The Pants that Betrayed Me
A tantrum in the women’s section
I went shopping for a halfway decent pair of slacks (and I stress halfway). For my next interview or whatever event, I decided on a pair of dark dress jeans. Nothing says CEO worthy like a pair of itchy, Styrofoam infused pants hoisted up to the abdomen. Now don’t get me wrong, I could have gone with a comfortable low rise black jean or jegging. Combine it with jewelry and a clutch bag, I would have the perfect combination of style and self-defense. No joke, the clutch bag can deliver a swift uppercut when necessary (not that I have any personal experience). However, my main predicament was having to choose between style and function.
Disclaimer: This article is not written to offend the pants wearing population or fashion industry. This is a mere dramatization of my experience shopping in the women’s section.
I guess we can’t ask for too much from a pair of pants. Besides a flattering backend, what more could a person want? Functional pockets? A length long enough to cover your mismatched socks? No hidden tags discovered long after you put them on? No lint collection that only an intense amount of brushing can remove? Believe me, I understand they’re only a pair of pants. But I want more. I want my next pair of jeans to fit so right they become country song material.
