Member-only story
What Have I Done?
Midnight contemplations
Mama blew a fuse,
They all asked why?
How could I push the perfect man aside?
You know it wasn’t easy,
Can’t remember the last time I cried.
I gripped the wheel tight as the summer wind whipped back my hair. With only the stars and the moonlight as my guide, I turned the dial up, letting the ballads of my favorite song emasculate my guilt.
It was the first time in weeks the mental haze lifted.
Explaining myself was no simple thing.
Who was I to expect understanding so easily?
I guess that’s where the beauty lies.
“It’s not up to them.” My lips released their once locked wisdom.
Can’t deny what’s been done.
Our one-way ticket to hell was earned.
But now I’m breathing deep, seeing the universal truth unsealed.
Our attraction: so wild, so real,
It could never be a mistake.
Had to be free.
To everyone, he was a cool glass of sweet tea,
But you have always been my fire shot of whiskey.
You had me by ten years, a dozen tattoos and twice as many broken hearts.
And that’s all right.
“If they can’t handle that.” I stepped on the gas, the car climbed uphill to my favorite stargazing point. “They can kiss my ass.” I blew a bubble with my gum, letting it pop and stick to my chapped lips.
I parked, wasting no time grabbing my blanket and bug spray. I set up camp on the cool, damp grass and applied a generous amount of Backwoods to my exposed legs. Laying back, I listened to the crickets as I stared into the starlit infinity. I couldn’t wait to see you.
I know it might be wrong.
I knew it even when I said, “this is the last time.”
When I knew being near you under low light was a risk in itself.
I let that grin spread across my face,
